Thursday, May 25, 2006

Obsession On, Obsession Off.

The angst ridden whinging of a forty something.

Obsession on, obsession off. Obsession on again. Obsession off again.

Obsession on.

I ensure I leave work just in time to catch her leaving the pub after her day session. Hoping for the odd smile, a wave, a word.

Obsession off.

I ensure I leave work just in time to miss her as she leaves work so as not to see the smile, the wave, or receive the odd word.

Obsession on.

I spend my time sulking by the bar, not really talking to her, her not really talking to me. But for the occasional time she catches me staring at her and she smiles, or I catch her looking at me and I smile. The odd evening when there is a bounce in her step and a light in her smile. Sometimes too much beer in me.

Obsession off.

I’m wasting my life just trying to catch a brief moment with someone who is (I know deep in my heart) not particularly interested in me. I am wasting my time, and my money just propping the bar up in the vain hope she even talks to me.

Obsession on.

Every Wednesday I’m enticed down to the pub, her evening session so I just get pissed and stoned and here I am again just propping the bar up and forlornly hoping.

Obsession off.

I re-align my chackras. I go to another pub Saturday night. I stop staring at her and even reduce the amount I’m talking to her.

Obsession on.

After a night of almost ignoring her, she is pissed, I am stoned, she stops to talk to me, and there it is, that bloody light in her face, the smile, and it all starts again.

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Anonymous LynnLaw said...

You re-align your chakras? You really don't seem like the kind of person to even know about chakras. And I mean that in a GOOD way. Well I think you need to go in there wil confidence and charm tha pants off of her.

25 May, 2006 19:53  
Blogger meekon5 said...

I should have added occultist, Pagan, and mystic to my profile. I decided a long time ago that it would be a much more challenging role to live my life in the ordinary world but try to remain apart from it.

26 May, 2006 09:13  
Blogger Jodi said...

I love how it feels like your emotions are like a lightbulb going on and off.

what color were your chakras that night?? :)

Nice blog, thanks for your comments. ~Jodi

06 June, 2006 17:38  
Blogger meekon5 said...

I think from my last post on the blog my chakras are mostly balck at the moment :-)

07 June, 2006 16:24  
Blogger meekon5 said...

that should have read "Black" (damn typo)

08 June, 2006 13:00  
Blogger Lillie said...

ah, come on. You know you like the obsession (that's how it became so), the blood running hot/cold, the up/down, high/low... and all the possiblities....

23 June, 2006 13:36  

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