The Amazing Nose Picking Man!

Every morning we dread it. Will he choose to sit opposite us? Will he choose to sit next to us? Will he sit in clear view of where we have chosen to sit?

Never in all my days have I seen a person able to spend such a high percentage of his time just picking his nose. It’s not as if we live in a particularly polluted metropolis. We live in Portsmouth not London (the land of black snot). I’m sorry but I am told I’m becoming obsessed (Me, Nooo!). But I can not fathom how he can be picking his nose every time I look up from my work. And don’t take just my word for it my close workmates agree, not only is he scanky, dirty and unhealthy but he is sitting there picking away. How can he do so much nasal excavation without having leather re-enforced nostrils? I’m surprised he hasn’t given himself a lobotomy by now the amount of time he spends with at least one finger rammed up his nose. Then he manages to top his previous performance by picking his ears as well. It’s got to the point where we almost sabotage the PC’s near us or collect in little huddles in an attempt to marginalise him so we don’t have to sit near him. But even then if he’s in my line of site I can’t help myself. My eyes are drawn straight to him, he with his hands up to his wrist in each nostril. I have decided he must be a conduit into a different time space continuum. He is actually the bridgehead to some pan-dimensional beings attempt to invade this universe, invasion of the snot beings from universe “X”. Maybe its one being who is passing piece by snotty piece through to this universe.

Please let the gods make him not sit in my line of sight!

Technorati Tag: Obsession, Snot.